Discovering
by Oneturtledove
Summary: Truth is ever to be found in simplicity, and not in the multiplicity and confusion of things. - Sir Isaac Newton. A Post-ep, rewatching kind of story.
1. Pilot

A/N: This may be the longest authors note in history. Forewarned is forearmed.

So recently I realized that I knew this show so well that I didn't even have to watch it anymore. I could remember exactly what Mulder and Scully were wearing in any given scene, I could tell you how her head was tipped and what level her eyebrow was arched to. I could tell you if his tie was tight or loose, and if his sleeves were rolled up or not. And as much as I love this show, I was neglecting it and getting bored when I did watch it. Not because it was boring, but possibly because I wasn't paying attention anymore, and wasn't looking for nuances. So in what is quite possibly the biggest project I have undertaken since that stupid Advanced Bible Doctrine paper a few years ago, I have decided to do (another) rewatch of the show, and write a post-ep for every episode. I know it has been done before, and there are some great ones out there (most notably the _Seasons: First, Seasons: Second_ and _Seasons: Third_ by BeshterAngelus). This is just my spin. I am going to stick to the canon as well as I can, and hopefully I can do it justice. So enjoy the ride if you want. It may be a wild one.

* * *

She laid in bed for several minutes, staring at the wall and wondering what in the world she had just been pulled into. This wasn't just another assignment. She wasn't just supposed to follow this guy around and make notes on his behavior. This wasn't just a political game. This was personal. It was personal for Mulder and it had already become personal for her. She was invested. She could not turn a blind eye to injustice, and despite not agreeing with Mulder's theories and conclusions, the roadblocks thrown at him were not justified at all. The people out in Oregon who hid the truth, the men at the FBI who turned a blind eye to such behavior. It was ridiculous and made her blood boil. It was insulting that these men thought she would just do their bidding, never questioning anything they told her to do. They'd obviously never encountered Dana Scully before.

She sighed and rolled out of bed, pulling her robe on and tying it around her waist before going to the kitchen for something to drink. She wasn't going to be sleeping tonight. Every time her eyes closed, she could hear Teresa Nemans's scream, could see the bright lights and looks of panic on everyone's faces. It haunted her. She'd never been haunted by anything before, and she had a feeling that this was something that came with the job. She would have to get used to it.

That was, assuming that she was allowed to stay on. Blevins wasn't too pleased with her and could pull her out altogether. But that phone call just now; it sounded like Mulder was inviting her back. Like he was placing a little trust in her, accepting that she was here for good. The thought of committing to something so big scared her a little, but she couldn't back down now. Not before she solved this mystery that every moment seemed to get a little bigger. She may never catch up, but she was ready to try.


	2. Deep Throat

She was literally seething. He looked over at her and wasn't sure if she was mad at him or the situation, or if it was a combination of things. This was only their second X-Files case together, but they had been consulting with other departments, even been on loan to local P.D.'s a few times over the last year and a half. They weren't really friends, but he knew her well enough to know that the quickness of her breathing and the firm set of her jaw was not just PMS at a bad time. She was truly and completely ticked off.

"Scully?"

"What?"

"I know you're upset, and you have every right to be, but-"

"I don't want to talk about it, Mulder."

To be honest, her heart was still racing from the events of the last 24 hours. She never thought she was lose her partner and have to broker a hostage deal to get him back safely. She was glad that Paul, that pathetic excuse for a distraction hadn't been expendable, or the base may never have thought of him as a fair exchange. She tapped her fingers on the steering wheel, biting her lip in frustration. She wasn't sure if she could handle things like this. The danger, the drama, the constantly convincing Mulder to do the safer, more lawful thing. It was exhausting.

She pulled the car into the hotel parking lot and turned it off with a sigh.

"Scully, is this Mossinger's car?"

She glanced around the car for a moment, taking in the broken glass, the ID badge on the floor, and the fact that it actually had a back windshield.

"So I kidnap an government employee, hold him hostage to get my partner back, and I steal his car. Yeah, this is going to go over well at Christmas dinner."

They sat quietly for a while. He stared out the window at the sky while she just looked at her hands, not quite sure what to do.

"How are you feeling, Mulder?" she asked finally, feeling the most comfortable in doctor mode.

"I'm fine. My head hurts a little."

"Come inside. I want to look you over."

"Scully…"

"Can it, Mulder."

He smiled and got out of the car, following her into her hotel room.

"I really feel alright, Scully."

"Yeah, but we have no idea what happened to you. You could have a concussion with memory lapse, they could have given you any number of drugs, they may not have used sterilized needles for the injections I'm sure they gave you."

"They better have only given me shots in my arms, because this medical excursion stops at the waist."

"We're in agreement then," she said, motioning for him to sit down on the bed while she got her medical bag off of the table. He sighed and sat down, rubbing his eyes. They felt sticky and heavy, and he wondered if she had any eye drops in that bag of hers.

She ran her fingers through his hair to check for bumps, then made him follow her finger with his eyes. He sat patiently through all of her tests, even when she checked his reflexes and made him open his mouth and say _ahhhh_.

"Clean bill of health?" he asked hopefully when she was done.

"For now, but I want you to see your doctor when we get back to DC, and let me know if you're feeling weird or sick or anything. Okay?"

He nodded because he knew she was right. He wasn't used to that at all.

"I'm going to try and get us a flight out of here. Why don't you go get cleaned up?"

"Alright."

"Don't lock your door. I'm checking on you in twenty minutes."

"You think I'm going to start seizing on the bathroom floor?"

"You never know, Mulder."

He smiled and crossed the room to leave, then turned back to look at her.

"Hey Scully?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. For everything."

"You're welcome, Mulder."


	3. Tooms

She sat on the couch breathing heavily, even after the police had hauled Eugene Tooms away. Mulder watched her out of the corner of his eye while he replaced the heating vent cover. He wasn't sure what she was thinking or feeling, but he was guessing it wasn't pleasant.

He made sure the cover was secure before he stood up and crossed the room.

"Scully?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

She nodded.

"I'm fine, Mulder. A little shaky."

He sat down on the coffee table in front of her, wanting to reach out and give her a reassuring touch, but knowing that that wasn't his place.

"I can't believe he got in here," she admitted, looking down at her hands. "I never thought I would bring my work home with me."

"It's not a good feeling."

"No, it's not."

They were quiet for a while, and he finally reached out and touched her hand.

"Are you going to be okay?"

"I'll be fine. But I think I'm going to be sleeping at my sister's tonight."

He smiled wryly.

"I feel like I should tell you something, Scully."

"What's that?"

"This isn't abnormal."

"What do you mean?"

"This isn't just a nine to five job. You always bring it home, in your memories, in your dreams. You might end up in the hospital, in front of a disciplinary committee, haunted by things you see. It's not for the faint-hearted."

"I'm not faint-hearted, Mulder."

"I know that. I wasn't so sure at the beginning, but I know that now. But just because you can do it doesn't mean that you have to."

She was quiet for a few minutes, then looked up at him, her eyes sparkling with something he couldn't place.

"What if I want to?"

"What?"

"Mulder, I believe in this work. And I've already seen too much to just give up. If I ever leave, it's not going to be because some wacko tried to eat my liver."

"You have a sick sense of humor."

She smiled, noticing how his close proximity was enough to calm her nerves.

"I don't think I could do this alone, but as long as I have a partner watching my back, I should be okay."

"Well now that we've both saved each other, I guess we're even. Let's hope it stays that way."

She nodded and he patted her hand and stood up.

"If you're alright, I'm going to go."

"A few bruises, but I'm okay."

"Alright. Call me if you need anything. We'll go down to the P.D. tomorrow and give our statements."

"Thanks, Mulder."

He gave her one more smile before he left the apartment. She took a deep breath and headed for her bedroom, grabbing her overnight bag and current novel before she left too. She used her cell phone while she waited for the elevator, listening as Melissa's phone rang and rang.

"Hello?"

"Hi Miss."

"Hey little sister. What's going on?"

"Can I come over? Crash on your couch tonight?"

"Sure. Is something wrong?"

"I'll tell you when I get there."

"S'Mores and toaster pizza?"

"I'll love you forever if we can watch an Audrey Hepburn too."

"I'll warm up the VCR."

"Thanks, Miss."

She hung up the phone and got into the car, taking a deep breath. It was over. She was fine. And if she was lucky, nothing like that would ever happen again. And if it did, she always had Missy's couch. And now, she had Mulder too. And Mulder understood. For the first time in her life, despite being close to her family and friends, she felt that she had found someone who really, really understood her, and who would take the time to try and understand when he didn't. He was a friend. Not a necessarily a close friend, but one she had a connection with. One she couldn't imagine doing this job without.


	4. Conduit

Never had the word 'haunted' jumped to the front of her mind as quickly as it had during this case. Every time she had looked at Mulder, his eyes held that same dimness, as if his mind was somewhere so far away, nothing could ever get it back. It was a deep personal hurt. It didn't take anything more than common sense to know why he was reacting in such a way, but she hated to shove him into the box of "Poor Mulder Lost His Sister And Now He Can't Think About Anything Else." She owed him more than that. She knew him better than that. He wasn't just projecting on his own experience. He was being human. A big no-no at the FBI, but when did Mulder ever follow the rules?

He wasn't just thinking about what happened to Ruby. He was worried about what would happen to Kevin. He was trying to be the investigator he had always wanted working on his sister's case. The one who never gave up. The one who cared about him as a victim, and not as a witness. He was trying to get justice for Ruby, for Samantha, but also for Kevin and for himself.

She found herself strolling along the mall on her lunch break. She had meant to walk to the diner for some food, but had gotten lost in her own head and was now blocks from where she should be. Mulder had gone out too, and she wondered where he was. He had left almost a half hour before she had, and she assumed he was back already.

Despite her hunger, she turned around and headed back to the bureau, trying to figure out a way to sneak Mulder's regression tapes into her briefcase so she could listen to them at home. Maybe it was a breach of privacy, and he would hate her if he knew, but she felt like it was a wise decision in the long run.

She made it back to the bureau and down to the basement on autopilot. She didn't even really remember walking there, and she half-chuckled as she considered telling Mulder she had lost time.

The smile faded off of her face when she walked into the office and saw him sitting there. He smelled slightly of the outside air and incense and she wondered if he had been in a church. He was leaned back in his chair, his fingers steepled under his chin in thought, and to the untrained eye, he might even look relaxed. But she knew better.

A second glance revealed that his eyes had been red, but were slowly fading into pink. His jaw was set in a hard line, and instead of having his feet propped up on the desk, they were firmly planted on the ground.

She couldn't think of anything to say, so she just walked by and squeezed his shoulder before sitting down in her chair on the other side of the desk. The small touch seemed to reanimate him and he sat up a little straighter, shuffling through some papers until he found the file he was looking for.

"I received this anonymously today," he began, sliding some glossy images towards her. "I thought you might like to take a look."

"This is disgusting."

"I am proud of how far your adjective use has come," he teased.

"Mulder, this woman has her arm growing out of her stomach."

"Not true. That is her arm, yes. But it was cut off of her body and then attached to her stomach."

"Why?"

"That is what we are going to find out."

"You think this is some kind of aliens playing doctor thing?" she asked standing up and sliding into her jacket again as they headed out the door.

"I'm thinking cultists. Or a ritual sacrifice of some kind."

"Or maybe a good old fashioned lunatic?"

"You're thinking too small Scully. Too small."

She smiled a little has his hand found that spot on her back and he guided her into the elevator. She felt that she finally understood his obsession. In his mind, he knew he would probably never see his sister again. But he needed to do something, just in case. Just in case one little thing would lead to something else, that might open another door, and maybe, just maybe, if he was lucky, he would get a miracle.

She shoved her hands in her pocket and crossed her fingers for him, vowing to do her part.


	5. Jersey Devil

"If I let you drive, does that even things out?" Mulder asked as they headed towards the parking garage.

"You think you can make me hold the door and then bribe me not to report you for sexual harassment by telling me that I can drive? What kind of woman do you think I am?"

"Hopefully a nice one."

She smirked and caught the keys that he tossed to her.

"Whoever has the keys picks the radio station," she reminded him.

"Crap."

"I never said I wouldn't compromise at least a little."

"You really like to play with my emotions, don't you?'

"That's all feminism really brought about."

"I'm all for the burning of the bras."

"Why am I not surprised?"

"Because you're not an idiot."

She snickered as they got into the car and shot a look his direction as she adjusted the seat and mirrors. He was very smart and didn't make one height requirement remark.

They were quiet as they drove, both lost in their own thoughts. Neither one of them had ever experienced such a comfortable silence before with anyone.

"Hold on," Scully said suddenly.

"What?"

"Just hold on," she repeated. He grabbed the crap handle just as Scully tapped the brakes.

"What the-"

"That guy was tailgating me."

"So you brake checked him?"

"It's perfectly legal. Especially if you see a squirrel in the road."

"There wasn't a squirrel in the road!"

"But if anyone asks, there was. Besides, he's not tailgating me anymore."

"I never had you pegged."

"You'd better not have."

"Road rage. Wow. For some reason I just don't see it."

"But you just did see it. Don't tell me you only believe in things you don't see."

"I don't know what to say to that," he commented with a smirk. She smiled and glanced over at him.

"You look very uncomfortable over there, Mulder."

"I do?"

"You look like you're going to choke on your knees."

"Well-"

Before he could even finish his sentence, she had pulled into a parking lot and turned the car off.

"Switch."

"What?"

"Switch. You like driving more than I do anyway."

He smiled and shrugged, then switched places with her."

"Ah, much better. Not that your driving is bad. It's not. I just feel weird on that side of the car."

"I could tell."

"So was this a bonding thing?"

"I don't know. Was it?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"Was picking you up from the drunk tank bonding, or was that just blackmail?"

"Neither, Scully."

She smiled, her eyes even crinkling up a little. She enjoyed the intelligent banter that they shared, but she was beginning to experience more lighthearted moments, and she found she liked those almost as much. Who knew what she was going to experience in the future? If it kept going this way, they were definitely headed towards a fulfilling working relationship. Maybe friendship. Yes, that would be nice.


	6. Shadows

A/N: I was so blank on what to do for this chapter. Then I realized that the answer was at the end of the episode. Wow. I am dumb. Prolly my favorite chapter so far.

* * *

"Well," Scully started, raising up on her toes. "We can see it."

"History should not close at five."

"I agree. Want to grab some coffee? I bet there's something still open."

"Yeah. I'll just have to visit the bell another time."

"Mulder, why the obsession with the bell?"

He shrugged as they got into the car.

"I wouldn't call it an obsession. I've just always liked the mystery of the bell. How did it really crack? What would have become of it without the crack? Does the crack make it memorable? What if they rang it despite the crack?"

"I don't think I have ever heard someone say crack so much."

He smirked and started the car, and they drove almost lazily through the near deserted streets. It wasn't that late, but it seemed the town had calmed for the night.

"That coffee shop is open," Mulder said finally, pointing out the window.

"Perfect."

He parked the car next to the curb and they got out. Scully buttoned her coat as a wind picked up. The season was about to change again; she could feel it in her bones. They entered the coffee shop and Mulder ordered them each a small black coffee. She stirred some creamer into hers, then followed Mulder to the door.

"Want to walk?" he asked as he held the door open for her.

"Sure."

He pressed his hand to the small of her back as they made their way out of the coffee shop. They walked slowly down the sidewalk, the few leaves crunching under their feet. She noticed that she was taking almost two steps for each of his, and about the same time he started taking smaller steps. She smiled a little to herself.

"So Scully, you ever been to the bell before?"

"A few times. We took a field trip here in high school."

"I can't imagine you in high school."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, taking a sip of her coffee. It was a lot hotter than she thought, and she ran her tongue over her lip trying to stop the burning sensation.

"It just means… acid washed jeans, side ponytails and BubbleYum don't really shout "Scully" to me."

"I will take that as a compliment then."

"We laugh about the 80's but I am sure that someday we will laugh about the 90's."

"I kind of miss the 80's. The only decade where you could wear the ugliest clothes you had and no one could say anything because somehow, theirs were worse."

"I don't think any of us really appreciated that at the time."

"No, we didn't."

"I don't think anyone ever truly appreciates anything while its happening; good or bad."

"What do you mean?" she asked, prying the lid off of her coffee so it would cool a little.

"Like high school. It sucked right?"

"Pretty much."

"But life now is much worse. Having a job, paying bills, family obligation, the pressure to go forth and multiply. Back then all you had to worry about was a stupid part time job and what you were wearing to the next dance."

"It wasn't as easy as all that, Mulder."

"In comparison?"

"Life only gets worse when you graduate. I agree."

"And then college."

"Oh yeah, college was just a barrel of laughs, wasn't it?"

"Sleeping less than an hour a night."

"Eating junk food."

"Finals."

"Working."

"Roommates with terrible habits."

"Campus food."

"Care packages that included cans of soup and toilet paper."

"Putting off 25 page papers until the day before."

"You didn't," he said, almost stopping in his tracks.

"The last half of my freshman year. I call that my lost semester."

He chuckled.

"So what turned you around?"

"What made me the nose to the grindstone, uptight, not able to slack person standing before you today?"

"Yeah."

"Lost a scholarship. A big one. A free ride one."

"Ouch."

"Yeah. It was not the best year of my life. There was a lot of yelling."

"Your dad?"

"No, my mom. She screeched and my dad just sat there staring at me. I thought his head was going to explode."

"I get the feeling that you were their perfect angel child who had never done a thing wrong in her life."

"Well, nothing that they knew about."

"You gonna tell me?"

"Keep dreaming, Mulder."

"So do I have to wait until one night when you get plastered to hear all your embarrassing stories?"

"Yeah, that would be professional," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Oh come on, Scully."

"No way."

He sighed and tossed his already empty coffee cup into a garbage can.

"Fine. I'll make you a deal. I will tell you one if you tell me one."

"No."

"Come on! What is partnership without dirt on each other?"

She smiled at his use of partnership. He'd never referred to them as partners before.

"Someday, maybe I will tell you something. Maybe."

"Yeah, sure."

"You're not worthy yet. I don't know that you can keep it to yourself. You might tease me later."

"A fate worse than death."

"You're not going to let this go, are you?"

"Nope."

"Alright, but you have to tell me one too, okay?"

"Okay."

"It was senior year of high school. I hadn't slept in two nights. It was the end of gym class and I was about dead on my feet. I went into the locker room and took my shirt off and was about to take my shorts off when I realized… Mulder, stop laughing."

"Sorry."

Her face colored a little as she continued.

"I noticed that I was in the guys locker room. They were all in various states of undress. Half of them were naked."

"Awkward."

"I'm just glad my brother was still at least half clothed."

He snorted out a laugh and doubled over in the middle of the sidewalk.

"What did you do?"

"I just stood there. I didn't know what to say. And then one of the guys shouted "Floor show!" and grabbed my shirt and they started tossing it around the room. It was very sweaty when I got it back. It's not funny."

"Yes, it really is."

"Mulder, it's not! I faked cramps for a month so I didn't have to go to gym class!"

This only made him laugh harder as he grabbed onto a bench for support.

"Well, at least you made their day."

"You're mean."

He wiped the tears from his eyes and stood up, catching his breath.

"I can now die happy."

"Yeah, yeah. Your turn."

"Nothing I have can compete with that," he said, turning and walking back towards the car.

"What? You agreed!"

"I know, but I have nothing of that caliber."

"But… you… I just…" she stuttered as he got further away.

"Let's go home, Scully."

"Hey!" she shouted, throwing her cup in the garbage can and racing to catch up with him. "Mulder! This isn't very partner-ly!"

He just laughed as she chased him to the car.


	7. Ghost in the Machine

Partners. The word carried so much weight, so much meaning, so much baggage. He'd only called her his partner once, and never in front of anyone. She knew it wasn't something he took lightly, especially when he downplayed his partnership with Jerry. She could tell that he had been hurt by something, and then when Jerry stole Mulder's profile, she was pretty sure what that was.

She watched him out of the corner of her eye as he worked on the computer. She was supposed to be cross referencing some files, but she couldn't concentrate. She wasn't sure of her place here, as his friend or partner. Did she talk to him about Jerry? Did she ignore it until he wanted to talk? And how did she make sure he never looked at her with the derision that he had looked at Jerry with?

She sighed a little and he looked up from the computer screen.

"Hey Scully, want to grab some lunch?"

"Is it that time already?"

"It's a quarter to one."

She rolled her neck and tossed aside the papers she had been pretending to work on.

"Where do you want to go?"

"Have I ever taken you to Dolly's?"

"You've never taken me anywhere," she said as he handed her coat to her.

"You've never taken me anywhere," he countered.

"I don't have anywhere to take you."

He held the door open for her and they walked out into the hallway.

"So is this Dolly's one of those old diners that hasn't changed in the last 60 years?"

"In spite of threats from the health department, they have prevailed."

She rolled her eyes as they stepped into the elevator and headed up to ground level. The walk to the small diner was short, and she was surprised she hadn't noticed it before, as the entire thing was the color of cotton candy.

He held the door for her and they stepped inside. It was warm and smelled like apple pie and coffee, and Scully put a hand over her stomach to try and discourage the growling. She slid into a booth across from Mulder and he passed her a menu.

"May I make a suggestion?" he asked as she looked over the menu.

"Mulder, someone has drawn a doodle with their name inside it on every page."

"Really? Lemme see that!"

He took the menu from her and closely examined every page.

"Hey Dolly," he shouted, motioning for the older woman who was quite obviously the proprietor. "Who's Dillon?"

"Has he been drawing in the menus again? That's my nephew, and I'll kill him."

Mulder chuckled.

"I suppose there will be time for that at Christmas. Now who'd you bring with you today Fox?"

"Dolly, this is my partner, Dana Scully."

"It's nice to meet you, Dana. Now Fox is going to recommend that you get blueberry pancakes and fries, but don't let him pressure you. You get whatever you want."

"I'll keep that in mind," she said with a grin. Her eyes flicked up and met his for a moment and his smile matched hers.

"I'll give you two a while to decide. What do you want to drink?"

"Water for me," Scully answered.

"Iced-tea," Mulder replied. Dolly made a note on her pad of paper and hurried to refill coffee for another table.

"You caught that partner thing, right?" Mulder asked, glancing through his menu one more time.

"I caught it. Thank you."

He nodded.

"So, what are you going to have?"

"I don't know. What do you think?"

"Blueberry pancakes and fries?"

"Okay, if there was any connection between the two, I might think about it."

"Oh come on. Don't you trust your partner?"

She sighed heavily.

"You won't regret it, Scully. I promise."

She nodded. He hadn't steered her wrong yet. Who was she to question him?


	8. Ice

A/N: I know it's short and I know Ice deserves more. But since hardly anyone except Julia reads this, and since she approves, I really figure this is just fine… I love your loyalty, Julesy. And you.

* * *

She had pulled a gun on him. A gun. It didn't matter what the situation was, how high pressure things were or how tired they were. She had pulled a gun on him, plain and simple. If they were really partners, she should have been able to tell that he was uninfected. She should know him better than this. She hated herself for what she'd done. She was sure he hated her too.

And then she heard a knock on her hotel door.

"Scully, it's me. Can I come in?"

"It's open."

He peeked his head around the corner before coming in. She was laying on the bed, her feet up on the pillows, flipping through the channels.

"Can we talk?"

"Sure."

He sat down next to her and she rolled onto her side to look at him. She would have sat up too, but she was way too tired to care about decorum.

They were quiet for a long time, neither one of them sure what to say. Maybe they knew what to say, but not how to say it. It was too early in their partnership for something like this. It was too young and weak. Maybe they couldn't do it.

"Mulder, I didn't mean to pull a gun on you."

"You sure had a quick draw there, Tex."

"Maybe I meant to, but I shouldn't have."

"Scully, I understand. I wasn't exactly sitting there like a purring kitten either."

"I was scared," she admitted, turning to look at the ceiling.

"I was too," he agreed, laying back against the bed.

"Mulder, I trust you. In a rational situation, I would have remembered that. But I didn't, and I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too."

"Maybe it would be a good idea to erase this particular event from our partnership history."

"Alaska? Never been," he said sitting up and smiling at her.

She grinned and sat up too as he grabbed the phone book and started looking for somewhere to order dinner from. She was sure they had just set a precedent in their partnership, but she didn't really care. She wasn't big on confrontations or asking for forgiveness, so if they had to gloss over things, that was just fine with her.

However, she was going to have to talk to him about his habit of putting his feet on her bed.


	9. Space

"You know," Scully started, buckling her seatbelt as Mulder started the car. "For all the beauty of space and the magnificence of take-off, the idea of a space walk freaks me out to no end."

He chuckled as they started down the road, heading for their hotel. They'd been up for around 30 hours now, and even though it was the middle of the day, they were both looking forward to some shut-eye.

"What freaks you out about space walking?"

"The idea of having nothing but a tether keeping you from forever floating in orbit. The sheer aloneness and darkness and mystery of space, with no way home. That's scary."

"You wouldn't like the solitude?"

"I don't need that much solitude. I'm not Superman."

"Superman reference? You're so cool."

"I've been told."

He rolled his eyes and watched her out of the corner of his eye. She was resting her head against the window, her eyes at half mast. He'd never seen her quite so tired before. He'd never seen her so relaxed either.

By the time they pulled into the hotel parking lot, she was as close to sleep as a person could be without actually being asleep. The car stopping seemed to wake her up a little bit, and they got out and made their way to their rooms, both of them staggering the whole way. They probably looked drunk.

"Our flight leaves at nine in the morning," she yawned, struggling with her door lock.

"Wanna nap for a few hours then grab some dinner?"

"Sure. But nothing crappy. I'm sick of pizza and Chinese."

"So burgers?"

"Sure, Mulder. Whatever."

"Hey Scully?" he started as she finally opened her door. "If we ever went to space, you wouldn't have to be afraid to space walk. I'd make sure your tether was secure. And I'd pull you back in if I had to."

"Thanks, Mulder."

She smiled and went into her room, crashing down on the bed. Mulder had just held her fear in his hands and instead of exploiting it or teasing her, he used it to further cement their partnership. She chuckled and pulled a pillow under her head. He never ceased to surprise her.


	10. Fallen Angel

"So what did you do this weekend, Dana?"

"Oh, I went to Wisconsin to bail my partner out of a makeshift military prison, treated a bunch of guys with radiation burns, was almost put under military arrest myself, and came home to face an FBI tribunal."

Yeah, that would go over well at a family dinner. Barely back from Wisconsin for 24 hours and she was at her parents house, listening to the buzz of family news around her. She was still in her work clothes, and wanted nothing more than a pair of sweats, her couch and a tub of ice-cream. She was tired.

Instead of answering the question honestly, she shrugged and poked at her chicken.

"Worked."

"Dana, you're working too much," her father said, rolling up his napkin and tossing it onto his empty plate.

"I never thought I would hear you say that, dad."

"I normally wouldn't, but your job involves guns. The less you do it, the less chance there is of taking a bullet."

"No one's pulled a gun on me yet," she lied, shaking her head. She didn't like lying to her family, but she knew it was better this way. No one but Melissa and Charlie could handle knowing what her job was really like.

The conversation moved slowly back to Bill's new assignment and his pretty girlfriend and she breathed a sigh of relief. Being the center of attention was not her favorite activity, especially under scrutiny. She'd had enough of that at work earlier.

Her thoughts drifted to Mulder and she wondered what he was doing. She hoped he was staying off his leg and keeping it elevated. Maybe he was sitting on the couch watching junk TV and eating sunflower seeds. Maybe he was writing up a case report. Maybe he was playing paper football, like he did at work. As humorous as it was to imagine him doing all sorts of stupid things, it made her sad to think that he didn't have a family to have dinner with. Estranged parents, missing sister and no connections to any one else.

She could feel tears prick at the back of her eyes and she blinked them away. She hoped that no one noticed, but she caught the look Bill threw her direction and knew it wouldn't be long until they had a sit down. He rather enjoyed the role of big brother, and felt he best knew how she should handle her life. Melissa had rebelled too far out of his clutches years ago, and Charlie could knock him flat in an instant, so that left poor little Dana to deal with him. She sighed and braced herself for what was coming.

He pulled her aside after dessert, while Missy and Charlie were busy with a game of Speed.

"Dana, I think dad's right. Every time I try to call you you're at work or out of town or something. You can't spend your whole life like this."

"I know, Bill. But it's a new assignment. I can't really just blow it off. It'll get better."

"I don't like knowing you're out there holding a gun and chasing down bad guys and getting involved in all sorts of dangerous things."

"Bill, the most dangerous thing so far has been teaching Mulder how to shoot a rubber band one handed. He hit me in the eye twice."

"Dana, I'm being serious."

"I know you are. And I appreciate the concern, but don't you think I can take care of myself by now?"

"You're my little sister. You always will be. No amount of reassuring is going to make me feel any better."

"I can accept that. But don't second guess me."

"I'll try not to."

He hugged her and left the room while she sighed. She'd been expecting worse, but maybe that would come later. Bill always had to have the last word and his way, and would work as hard as he could to get it. This wasn't over.

* * *

When she got home, the red light on her answering machine was blinking rapidly. She pressed the button and slid out of her coat, tossing it on the chair by the door.

"Hey Scully, it's me. I know you're probably still mad at me, and I know that this wasn't an official case, but I was wondering if you had seen the receipt from the car rental place. I can't seem to find it anywhere. Give me a call back when you get in."

She picked up the phone and dialed his number while kicking her shoes off and making her way into the bedroom.

"Mulder."

"It's me. I think the receipt is in your coat pocket."

She heard some rustling, then a relieved sigh.

"Found it. Thanks, Scully."

"No problem. How's the leg?"

"A little sore, but not too bad."

"Let me know if you need anything."

"You're not mad at me?"

"No, I'm not. You might not be right, but you're not the only one in the wrong here either, and you're my partner, so I have to take your side."

"You don't believe me?"

"I believe you, Mulder. I just don't know if what you believe you saw is what you really saw. I don't know what the government is doing and I am starting to question a lot of things."

"You sound like you're in limbo."

"Maybe I am."

"Scary, huh?"

"Very."

"As long as you don't deny what you experience, you'll be fine. I'll see you in the morning. Goodnight, Scully."

"Night, Mulder."


	11. Eve

A/N: I've been putting it off because I didn't know what to do with it. Turns out even after writing it I don't know what I'm doing. Bah. Review with suggestions for the next chapters.

* * *

"Can you imagine having a connection with someone like that?" Mulder asked, cracking a sunflower seed hull between his teeth.

"What do you mean?"

"Being able to read someone's mind. Knowing what they're going to do before they say anything. Not even having to be near them to know. It's like mind reading but way more intense."

"It would be nice to have that, at least sometimes. But it would be tempting to use it for evil."

"Oh yeah? What would you do if you could read my mind?"

She raised her eyebrows, not expecting that jump.

"I don't know. Figure out what I have to do to get you to stop taking me on cases without telling me anything about them."

"Even I don't know what you could do there. Sorry."

She rolled her eyes and tapped her fingers on the armrest that separated them.

"So what would you do if my mind was your personal playground?"

"I don't know. I think I would be scared of what I would find in there."

"What do you mean by that?"

He shrugged and ate a few more sunflower seeds before he said anything.

"I guess sometimes I get the feeling that… I don't know. I think that sometimes you think that you're babysitting me and bailing me out all the time. You never act like it, but I just don't see how you couldn't feel that every once in a while."

She bit her bottom lip, keeping her eyes focused on the emergency procedures card in the back of the seat in front of her. Maybe he couldn't read her mind, but he could read her expressions. And she didn't dare look up now, lest he read more into it than he needed to.

"You know, every once in a while, I have felt that way. Those times when I'm so insanely mad at you for keeping things from me or doing something dangerous, yeah, I might feel that way. But it doesn't last for long, because I know you have the bigger picture in mind."

"So you're saying I just shouldn't tick you off anymore."

She shrugged.

"I don't know what I'm saying. Maybe we shouldn't talk about stuff like this."

"If we could read minds, we wouldn't have to."

She chuckled.

"Maybe someday, Mulder. If we keep spending all our waking hours together, maybe someday."

"Not all our waking hours."

"Okay. A huge majority of our waking hours."

"What do you do during those other waking hours?"

"Has this conversation degenerated into hobbies?" she asked with disgust.

"Yes it has. I know your blood type, your medical allergies, and what kind of gun you prefer. But I don't know what you do at night."

"I go home. I go brain dead in front of the TV for a few hours. Then I go to bed."

"Oh come on. You do more than that. I go to the Y and play pick up basketball or sometimes I go fishing or something. There is no way you just go home and sit there every night."

She sighed.

"About five years ago, I joined Big Brothers Big Sisters."

"You have a little sister?"

"Yeah. Vanessa. She's 13 and she thinks she knows everything."

"Lovely."

"Luckily I am not her parent, so she hasn't unleashed her adolescent wrath on me yet. But sometimes she's still in need of a good spanking."

"She's a rebel?"

"She has a mouth on her like you wouldn't believe."

"You've known her for five years?"

"Yeah. I only see her every week or so."

"What kind of stuff do you do with her?"

"I take her to movies or out to eat. I usually just let her pick."

"Well there you go. You have a life outside of work. Enjoy it."

"Good joke, Mulder."

He smirked and she shook her head, reaching for the magazine that was on the seat next to her. Her life outside of work rarely consisted of more than catching up on sleep, but sometimes sacrifices had to be made for the greater good. At least she had someone by her side who understood.


	12. Fire

A/N: ah Phoebe Greene. Excuse me, Inspector.

* * *

"Ah forget it," Mulder said, raking his hands through his hair and standing up from the desk. "Wanna grab lunch?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just gotta get out of here. Wanna come?"

"Sure. Where are we going?"

"I've never taken you to the Pink Café have I?"

"I think I would remember that. Is this going to clog our arteries like your usual lunches?"

"Pretty much. We'll walk it off though."

They made their way out of the building and down the street, walking slowly and enjoying the fresh air. She snuck glances at him every few steps, wondering what was going on in his head. The return of an ex-girlfriend, and almost dying by fire was enough to screw up anyone's week, but for Mulder it was worse. He kept things inside until they festered and spilled over in a screaming match with a superior. She really wanted to figure out how to get him to let things leak out before they got too big, but she didn't think he trusted her enough. At least not yet.

"Stop lookin' at me," he said.

"I'm just… trying to figure you out."

"Get in line."

She chuckled a little, wrapping her arms around her middle.

"Can I ask you a question, Mulder?"

"I might not answer."

"Can I ask it without a violent repercussion?"

"You don't have to worry about that. You could totally take me out."

"Well I know, but I was more worried about you resenting me."

"I won't. What do you want to ask?"

She sighed and they walked a little longer before she finally spoke.

"Mulder am I… helping you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I feel sometimes like you don't need me. And I know you don't really feel like that, but sometimes I think you're capable and I just weigh you down."

"First of all, Scully, you only weigh about seven pounds. You're incapable of weighing me down. Second of all, I do need you. You make me slow down and look at what I'm doing before I screw up. You make things legitimate. You make me work to prove something. And it may be frustrating sometimes, but I know you do it because you believe in me and you believe in the work. You help me, Scully, and I want you here."

"And you're sure?"

He grinned and slung his arm around her shoulders.

"You're not getting rid of me that easy, partner."

"Good, 'cause I don't want to."


End file.
